Dotted Lines
by AmazonPro
Summary: Ryan was a boy with a notebook. He had it with him always. His voice was lost. Felix vowed to find it. For Ryan and for himself
1. Chapter 1

In every class there's one kid who refuses to be social. They're by themselves during class, hiding behind a book or looking out a window to wherever their eyes set upon is what catches all of their attention. Recess is just another place to sit alone. No other children bother with them, for that they've tried many times with no avail.

There's one specific boy, though, that matches this description. His name was Ryan. Being eight years old and anti-social, Ryan had no friends. No partner to play games with, no friend to get into trouble with. But he didn't mind. In fact Ryan loved being alone. No one person could make him happy like his notebook could. All he had to do was draw and or write, then everything would be fine. Just Ryan and his notebook.

It was like the notebook was a shield. As if when he held it tightly against himself the names people spat at him wouldn't cause any wounds, but they did. Every name was like a stab to the chest. The notebook shielded the wounds from Ryan's eyes; he never noticed how much they were hurting him.

One day during class, Ryan was looking out the rooms window. A piece of paper which slid onto his desk caught his attention. With slight hesitation, Ryan turned his head and stared at the slip of paper, Before the boy knew it, he grabbed the white sheet and opened it before his eyes. There was messy writing which covered the sheet.

_"__Hey I'm new here! My name is Felix, what's yours?"_

Ryan felt a pair of eyes on his covered up face, it made him uncomfortable. He slumped back lower into the plastic chair while placing the note upon his desk with no intention of answering. A few minutes passed and Ryan got more uncomfortable.

_'Can't he just leave me alone?'_ Ryan thought to himself. The ticking clock soon caught his attention. One more minute until recess. Just one more uncomfortable minute.

Once 'his' beloved bell rang the boy took no time in reaching into the small oakwood desk to retrieve his notebook. His hand searched around, feeling for it's familiar texture and rectangular shape until coming upon it. Swiftly, the book slid out from under the clutters of textbooks and loose papers.

Ryan was the last one out of the once children filled classroom, which surprised him. Most of the other kids usually would stay back inside, trying to get a few more extra minutes of needed warmth. He didn't focus too much on the question bouncing around in his head; why the change?

Whilst hugging the precious paper filled notebook, Ryan made his way out into the empty halls then eventually out the door which lead outside. It was like walking into a sheet of glass; the crisp, cold air hit his face harshly. A fit of shivers took control of Ryan, his sweater didn't help keep the cold out in the least. Winter didn't want to wait much longer

It wasn't hard to notice children everywhere, huddling together in warmth. Some actually managed to find warmth by themselves and were running around, playing regular schoolyard games. Upon finding his special spot which he could sit without the screams of laughter from his fellow schoolmates blasting so loudly in his fragile ears, Ryan sat down, his notebook resting on his lap. Fifteen minutes to draw or write; whichever he deemed right for the moment.

He opened the book to a fresh page placed the led of his pencil lightly onto sheet. Within a few moments the pencil moved swiftly along the page without any thought. At first it all looked like bunch of random lines. Once a final stroked line was added the drawing made sense. It was of a little toy soldier standing, separated from the other toys. All the pieces of a puzzle were fit together to make one, the coloured lego pieces were stuck together to make a structure. Everything was together but that one soldier. It was fine, though, he _wanted_ to be by himself.

The army might've not been completed but what difference was one petty soldier? Really no-one would be affected. The army could go on without him.

Ryan took a few minutes more to add specific details to his drawing but once finished, he was proud. The image upon the paper seemed like a mirror of his life; the soldier all by his lonesome was Ryan, the other toys were his classmates.

The small boy exhaled, a puff of white air blew from his mouth, the air really was cold. Only then did he realize that only his cheeks and ears were cold, everywhere else felt normal. It was strange. Ryan leaned back against the brick wall of the school, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

"That drawing is amazing bro! How'd ya do it so well?" A voice came from beside Ryan which made him gasp slightly in shock._ 'when did someone sneak up on me?'_ thought Ryan. The boy opened his eyes and looked to the right to see a blond sitting next to him, his blue eyes and smile radiated onto Ryan whom didn't answer the question.

Ryan could tell that the boy in front of him was wondering about the white poker face mask he wore. Why did he wear it? And why did it only cover everything on his face but his mouth and down. Ryan gaze drifted down to his lap in a shy manner _'leave me alone please,'_ He thought to himself. He just wanted to be alone.

"Why do you hid your face behind that mask?" Typical… "Can you please take it off?" The other reached a small hand towards Ryans mask. He moved away then stood up with his notebook, running far away from the boy who tried to unmask him.

_'__Nobody should touch my mask….. It's not right it's mine,'_ Ryan thought as his small legs quickly carried him inside the rather warm school. He walked into the boys bathroom, locking himself in a stall. He sat there until the bell rang.

_'__What's wrong with my mask? Is It bad that I wear it? Well that's okay. No matter where I go people will wonder and judge me. It's fine I'm used to it….,'_ His mind was being corrupted with thoughts of his own mask. He was questioning why he really does wear it. Ryan was smart for his age. He thought over every detail or plan before putting it into action. He realized that the sky is blue. He knew his hair was brown. And he definitely knew that Halloween wasn't everyday. The reason of wearing the pokerface mask wasn't just to dress up or stand out, rather the opposite. Standing out was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

The mask was there for a reason.

What reason?

For security.

Ryan knew that he could not always have his notebook with him. He loathes the fact, but he knew it. Instead of having no shield to protect him, Ryan wore a mask. An emotionless mask which hid his emotions. It was perfect and he loved his mask as he did his notebook.

Maybe a few minutes after the bell had rung, Ryan stood from the toilet seat, opened the stall door, then walked out. He stood in front of the mirror and looked to the boy standing before him; brown hair which fell over the top of a white poker face mask. He wore casual blue jeans with a green hoodie which said 'sup?'

Then there was a frown.

There wasn't any signs that he'd been outside. With an annoyed sigh, he brought his hand to the exposed area of cheeks then pinched them harshly. After a few seconds Ryan retracted his hands to reveal bright red marks on the lower of his cheeks. It looked like the cold got to them; like he actually was outside the whole recess.

After doing so Ryan hugged his notebook to his chest then slowly trudged back to class. As he walked in, a women who stood in front of a black board turned and looked at the boy, a stern look was set upon her face. Ryan could still see the gentle kindness in her eyes, though.

"Ryan, you're late to class. Where were you? Is everything alright?" The brunette boy looked to his tied laces and with a shrug he walked to his seat at the back of the class.

The teacher sent him a worried look then went back to explaining the assigned project to the class.

"For the next several weeks you're going to be working on a small project, since this is an even class this'll work out perfectly," The lady clapped her hands together with a large smile "I will be pairing you up into a group of two. I can promise your partner will not be a friend, or someone you know quite well for that matter. Because…! your assignment will be to get to know your partner and by the end of the next month you will write a small paragraph or two about the person. It may be surprising but by the end of this you'll probably be good friends. now for the pairs….,"

The teacher was all smiles when she held a sheet of paper in front of her eyes.

"Felicia and Carli, Peyton and Malix….," The list went on until two names caught Ryan's attention. "Ryan and Felix," He looked up at the sound of his name.

"Felix? Isn't he the one who wrote that note?" Thinking back on the note, he remembered that Felix indeed was the writer. Ryan released a quiet sigh and placed his notebook onto the oakwood desk, opening to a new page. He began to sketch randomly with no intentions in store. In the boys head was nothing, his surroundings became something he didn't focus on. All the sounds faded until Ryan was in a distant place where he could be in renascence if only just for a few minutes. In the middle of drawing a circular shape, the paper was gone and Ryan was staring at his desk.

He looked up and saw the same blond from recess holding his beloved notebook with a wide grin.

The brunette shot out of his seat, teeth clenched. The chair made a high pitched screech before toppling backwards, defeated on the ground. Ryan clenched his hands into fists as he pounced onto the taller blond. They both fell backwards onto the hard floor, Ryan on top of the other. His knees were planted on the floor on both sides of the blonde's hips.

"I-I'm sorry! You weren't paying attention! W-We needed to start working so I….. I took this so you'd pay attention,"Ryan thought for a moment then his eyes widened. Quickly, he stood from the other and bowed his head in an apologetic manner. The blond had only taken his notebook because Ryan was spaced out. It was Ryan's fault.

He felt a hand on one of his shoulders so he looked up and saw the boy who was on the floor, standing in front of him with a signature grin.

"It's fine bro. Here have your notebook back, it seems important to you," Ryan reached forwards and took the notebook , holding it tightly against his chest. They both sat in a chair, facing eachother. Ryan felt awkward, yes, but something about the other put him at ease. Maybe it was his constant smile which beamed with friendliness.

"So uh I guess to start the project off we should introduce ourselves," He paused for a second then continued. "My name is Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg. You can call me Felix though," Ryan nodded then said nothing. How could he tell his name without speaking? WIth slight hesitation he rested his notebook on his lap and began writing;

_'I'm Ryan Terry,'_

Then held it out for Felix to read, which he did.

All up until lunch they both talked about random things. Well, more like Felix started up a conversation and Ryan soon ended it by writing a three word response.

It was the first interaction with another of his own age for Ryan in the longest time. The time went by a little too quickly.

The day went on as it normally would. Ryan didn't say a word during class then at recess he sat in his special place and drew. The only difference was that Felix was at his side every moment, silently sitting beside Ryan during class and recess.

The bell which signalled the end of the day rang throughout the school and all the kids cheered; finally freedom.

Ryan slung his packed bag over a small shoulder. As usual he hugged his notebook closely to himself. Soon he was out of the school and waiting for his mom to pick him up. The weather was still pretty chilly, it wasn't helping that the cold wind stung everywhere it touched. In search for extra heat he shuffled a bit until a hand was placed on his shoulder. Ryan jumped a bit then turned around to see not his mother, but Felix. Felix laughed at how jumpy Ryan was.

"Hey! Can I come over your house? So we can work on the project," The brown haired boy thought for a moment. It was obvious that they needed a lot of more work done on their project. With an unnoticeable sigh, he nodded in agreement.

"Great! Now what are we waiting for?" Turning around, Ryan noticed his mom and pointed to her then motioned for Felix to follow as he walked to her.

"Hello sweetie! Oh who's this?" Mrs. Terry looked from Ryan to Felix with a kind smile.

"I am Felix. Ryan and I are doing a project together. You must be his mom! It's nice to meet you," The two exchanged smiles as Ryan snuck into the car. He opened the rather heavy door and climbed inside, closing it behind him. It wasn't long after his seat belt was buckled when two of the car doors opened; his mother got into the drivers seat and Felix hopped in beside Ryan. Everyone was set to go and they were off, down the road to Ryan's house.

The blur of trees passing by stopped as the car rolled into the driveway. "We're here boys,"

The three of them exited the car. As soon as the front door was unlocked, Ryan rushed in and ran up the stairs, disappearing from sight. Felix was about to follow but decided to ask the mother something before hand. He'd been wondering something all of that day.

"Why doesn't Ryan talk?" He randomly blurted out. Felix didn't really have his curiosity under control. Ryan's mother was just about to walk to the kitchen but stopped when hearing Felix. she turned and looked at the small boy. A small 'hm?' escaped her lips.

"Well….. all of today he didn't say a word to me or even the teacher. Why?" paused then sighed. She tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear before responding.

"I don't really have a proper answer for you Felix, I do not know why Ryan doesn't speak. There's nothing wrong with his vocal cords as the doctors say. I'm assuming he just doesn't know how to yet…. maybe Ryan has to learn and try a bit harder," Felix nodded slowly "Ah, well. We'll figure it out someday. Now why don't you go upstairs to Ryan's room, he should be there. The second room on the right," He did as told, winding up in Ryan's room where Ryan was sitting on his bed with _that_ notebook.

Felix didn't say anything as he walked into the average sized room._ 'Ryan can't speak? I'll fix that soon. I'll get Ryan to speak to me!'_ Felix thought to himself as he sat beside the slightly shorter boy. Ryan's head shot up at the feel of his bed moving. Looking to the side he saw Felix sitting there, a small smile gracing his face.

"So what do you like to do for fun?" WIthout any hesitation a finger was pointed at a series of games and devices set up in one corner of the room. "Cool me too! Let's play a game!" Ryan nodded as the two stood up and walked over to the games.

They chose a game and played for a few hours.

Felix talked. Ryan, well, didn't. Just as expected.

Once the round was finished, the blond looked over to the other _'He really doesn't say anything even at his own house. How can I get him to speak….'_ He thought while unintentionally staring at Ryan. In response Ryan turned his head, giving Felix a questioning look.

"Sorry bro," Ryan shrugged. A wave of awkward silence went upon them. _Awkward_….

"Boys dinner's ready come down now please," Ryan's mother called from down the stairs. Both boys stood from their seated positions. The TV was left on as the two walked out of Ryan's room, down the stairs. Smells of delicious assortments of food filled the air.

The two boys sat at the table just as placed plates upon plates of food on the table. Mouth watering scents emitted from each steaming dish. "Serve yourselves. Oh and Ryan, dad's going to be late… again," A small sigh was heard.

_'__It's like he's not even part of this family anymore. Dad's never home,'_ Ryan thought to himself while putting a small amount of food on his plate.

Everyone was close to finishing the meal. There was a conversation going on for a bit between Felix and but that died off eventually. Just as Ryan lifted the last spoonful of corn to his mouth, the front door was pushed open aggressively and slammed shut. A male voice boomed in a furious manner.

"That is absolute bull crap! It was one simple task! You obviously can't understand a single fucking command… you are fired I want you out of the building by the morning so grab your shit and go. I don't want to see you again!" The man shouted through the phone he had clenched in his hand. He furiously hung up and stomped through the hall until he was in the dining room. stood from her seat then walked to the man with a confused look. "Honey what happened?"

"Some idiot fucked up. Now one of the trucks is lost somewhere in Canada. We probably just lost a customer because of that fucker."

"Sweetie, watch your language in front of the children," The male looked passed and set his eyes upon Felix "Who's this?"

"That's Ryan's friend, Felix. They're working on a project together," Ryan's attention was caught at the sound of the _friend_. Felix and Ryan. Friends? No, They were just mere acquaintances. Classmates. Assigned to do a project together. Nothing more.

Ryan glanced over at Felix and saw the other looking right back at him "Your dad has a mouth," He whispered. Ryan nodded. A large and dirty mouth filled with swear, indeed.

"My apologies boys, I was upset. Just please don't repeat my language," Both boys nodded. He then looked back to "I'll be going out in about an hour or so and I wont be home until you're most likely in bed," She nodded slowly thinking about how that it was the third time that week he had to go out. And it was only thursday.

Ryan stood from his seat, taking his and Felix's empty dishes to the dishwasher, placing them into the machine. The two then went back up to Ryan's room to actually work on the project.

Some time passed. Ryan learned plenty of things about Felix; his main language was actually Swedish, he moved to Florida just a month previous and that his birthday's October 24th. On the other hand Felix learnt hardly anything about Ryan. All he could squeeze out of him was that his birthday was June 11th. That was all.

_'__If things keep going like this then the whole project will be horrible….,'_ Felix thought to himself. From the corner of his eyes he saw the time. 8: 30 PM.

"Dang it's late. I have to go Ryan I'll see you at school," The minute Felix walked out the front door Ryan raced to his room then closed the door behind himself. He was tired, although it was still early in the evening. Quickly he stripped himself of his clothes, putting on a shirt that was a few sizes larger than needed. He still wore boxers. Ryan padded over to his bed then folded the sheets back and jumped in, pulling them over himself. Looking at the side table he made sure his notebook was safe before laying down and allowing the darkness of sleep overcome him. He had no dreams, rather nightmares.

_He was on the floor, cold tile lay underneath his body. There was a pain in his gaw and it hurt like hell. Everything was black. Then he realized his eyelids were closed. When they opened his breath hitched. A hallway went down as far as Ryan could see, every few metres a door laid. The hall was dimly lighted, the lighting made it gloomy. Everything was at a deafening silence. Ryan felt as if he should stand from the floor so he did. Upon standing, Ryan looked behind himself quickly. He swore he felt a breath on his neck._

_The first few steps were shaky but Ryan caught control of his wobbly legs and steadied them, walking forwards. The first door he came to had a blue handle Ryan grabbed it but quickly retracted his hand. The metal handle was freezing cold. The second door had a red handle. Because of the last experience Ryan cautiously poked the handle. It burnt his finger._

_Ryan walked passed several doors until one with no handle caught his eye. He stopped in front of it_

_'__how does it open?' He thought. A nagging feeling brought him to stuff s hand into his green hoodies pocket. His fingers latched around a cool feeling object. He brought his hand out of his pocket and saw a small thin metal column in his palm. Ryan's eyes came upon a hole in the door where a handle should be. Ryan shoved the column in the hole and the door made a 'click' noise then cracked open on it's own. The boy peered inside and saw old dusty furniture. He stepped inside._

_That was a mistake._

As he stepped in the door slammed shut and locked behind him. Ryan jumped at the sound. What was happening? The rooms light flickered then went out completely. Ryan felt suffocated. He heard very high pitch screeching. The light returned once the sound ended. Everything was different.

_There was no furniture._

_The walls had moved._

_The room was only big enough for Ryan._

_He was closed in._

_No way out._

_Ryan screamed, his voice was raw from the underuse of it. Claustrophobic is what he felt. Ryan screamed and clawed at the walls once a pair of hands grabbed onto his ankles a bit too tightly. He tried to grip onto something, anything but he couldn't, the hand just pulled on his legs until Ryan had no more strength. The hands dragged him under. He couldn't see anything, but he felt himself slip into something warm, of a thick liquid substance._

_First his legs were dragged in. Then his torso. And then he was completely submerged into the substance. No way of breathing but that hands dragged him deeper and deeper in. All until he saw a line of light. It got closer and closer._

Then, he shot up, eyes opening. He was in his room. Ryan was sweating and shaken. That was no dream… it was a nightmare. It was sad, though. That was the best dream he had so far…..

* * *

_**More To Come**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Might I say thank you for the reveiws. Also, I am very sorry to say that updates for this fanfiction will be slow, maybe once a week if I have time at school. You see I write this on paper before typing it out. Writing it out in itself takes a few days and on top of that the typing takes a few extra. And then editing is a whole other story xD haha. I'll try my best, though.

So grab a chair and sit on it! Enjoy chapter 2.

* * *

**Ryan's POV**

The morning passed quickly, I got changed as well as fixed my crooked mask. I accidentally slept with it on. Oops. I had breakfast, toast smothered in nutella. It was great. It was like any other morning.

But I wasn't really focused at all; I could only think about that dream I had. I mean nightmare….. What caused it? The day before was actually one of my better ones. I wasn't alone the whole day. At least the nightmare wasn't as bad as that other one.

The thought of it sent a shiver down my spine as I climbed into my mom's car. She drove me to school and when I got out of the car she drove off to work. Only the return at the end of the day to pick me up. This time I was by myself.

All day I was by myself, I'm not complaining though. Felix didn't even bother with me. Not even a glance. I could feel something in the depths on stomach. It wasn't too noticeable but it was whispering 'Talk to him,' Clawing away at my insides. I ignored it. No way was I doing that.

I climbed into mom's car and in no time we were home.

"Ryan do your homework," And I did, of course with some complaints. What kind of kid actually wants to do homework? I trudged up the stairs then into my room with the books I needed. After maybe twenty minutes of working my attention was taken away and transferred to the ringing phone.

_'Who could that be?'_ Mom talked into the phone for a brief amount of time before calling up to me to go downstairs. I slowly rose from my bed then walked downstairs to where mom was waiting with the phone "It's for you," With a nod I took the phone and brought it to my ear, saying nothing.

"Ryan you there bro?" SIlence "I'm going to guess you are….. uh my parents are taking me to this place. And I want to ask if you want to come with. I don't want to be bored, please come bro," I thought for a minute _'Why does he want me to come. I don't even say anything to him how am I entertaining?'_ With slight hesitation I handed the phone to mom and nodded. She asked Felix to repeat, which he did.

"Oh yes, Ryan would love to join you. I'll bring him over shortly." Then she hung up. "Get ready you're going to Felix's house," I did just that, making sure my mask was on straight, zipping up my hoodie then I was ready.

We walked out of our house and in just a few minutes we were at Felix's doorway, mom somehow got his address. She bent down and softly planted her lips upon my head saying she would be back later to pick me up. Then she was gone.

Does anyone of you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you knock on someone's door? Well that was the feeling I had there. I clenched my hand in a sweaty fist then knocked on the door before myself lightly. It was a surprise that the door opened merely two seconds later; I had barely any time to be nervous. I guess it was a good thing.

As the door swept open it revealed a smiling Felix. Without a moment's thought he spread open his arms and practically knocked me over when he leaped onto myself in a hug. I stumbled back a few steps then held my ground, Felix kept holding onto me. I didn't return the favour.

"Hey bro I'm glad you're here," He let go then stepped back with a grin. I shrugged, holding my notebook close to my chest, Yeah, I didn't forget it.

"We're going in like five minutes so come in. We can wait in my room," The blonde grabbed my hand and pulled me, impatiently, inside his house then up a staircase, into his room.

As I stood in his room I noted something; he really loved gaming. Like really loved it. He had devices all over his desk along with game disks and cases. Posters were scattered all across the walls, all of a game. A dead giveaway was a pillow on his bed shaped as a game controller. I liked his room.

It was a silent ride but as soon as the car stopped I was pulled out by an excited Felix. I stumbled behind him as he dragged me by my arm towards a field. I had no idea why we had to rush…. I was running out of breath. My stamina was really bad. Without any warning Felix stopped running. You can probably guess what happened next.

No?

Well I stumbled into him. We both toppled over and fell to the ground. Somehow I managed to land beside him, not on top. That would've been awkward.

Felix bursted out into laughter. Have you ever heard his laugh? It's hilarious and catchy, I soon was laughing along with him. I tried to stifle back my laughter. I couldn't. For some reason everything in the world suddenly became funny. The sky, Felix, the grass, even then bee which buzzed at my ear. It took a while for me to calm down. Once I did Felix looked at me like I was a mad man. Then he smiled.

"Ryan, God, Your laugh is amazing bro haha," I blushed, for some reason. It was probably from embarrassment. I reached over and picked up my notebook from the long grass; it dropped when I fell. I stood and brushed off my pants. Felix did the same.

Felix's parents, Mr and Mrs Kjellberg, set down a blanket under the shade of a tree. They placed food down; it was like a picnic.

We all sat down on the blanket.

The weather was great, it was surprisingly warm and sunny for mid October, everything was peaceful. The weather had been bipolar that month; one day it was freezing and required a warm jacket, the next sunny.

Everyone had triangle cucumber sandwich pieces. It was pretty damn good.

I wiped my hands on my pants once I was full. Felix and his parents were having a conversation in some other language. I was guessing it was Swedish. His parents must've only spoke Swedish; it was the only language I heard them speak in.

"Let's go play with this ball," The blonde suggested as his conversation ended. With a nod we both stood up, Felix lead the way "Mom and dad don't want us playing near the food. So we're going to this park off near the trees over there. Follow me!" With a medium sized blue ball in hands, he started to dash off. I was forced to follow with the pure reason that I didn't know exactly where to go and I would get lost without Felix. Yep.

We ran, I was running out of breath. Thank God Felix finally stopped when we were just in front of the park. We walked around the swings and behind play set then stood a few feet away from each other. I felt bare because I left my notebook back with Mrs. and Mr. Kjellberg.

My back was to the playground, Felix's was facing a road. It would be dangerous but the street was dead, had no cars rolling down it.

The game of catch started off as small, light tosses which were easy to catch. Somehow, though, the light tosses turned into cannon shots. It sorta hurt to catch the ball then. It once even hit me in the gut, I shook it off.

Felix brought back his arm then quickly shot it forwards, flinging the ball right at me. I just stared at it, without moving. Then it hit me square in the gut for a second time. I stumbled backwards then fell hard on my ass, I mean butt. My dad rubbed off on me. Anyways I fell and it hurt. As I looked up, the ball in hand, I saw Felix laughing. At me!

I had to redeem myself so I stood up, brought back my arm then shot it forwards towards Felix. With my bad aim and luck, it soared above his head and bounced onto the road. Felix composed himself then turned to the road "I'll get it!" I nodded. He went to the curb and looked both ways before crossing. When reaching the ball Felix bent over, picked it up and turned back towards me, holding the ball above his head like it was some sort of trophy. I rolled my eyes. So I didn't see it.

A shipment truck, one my dad owned, zipped towards Felix. I didn't see anything after that. "F-Felix?" My voice sounded hoarse but it was there. As the truck rolled away it revealed Felix laying on the cement. I ran over to him and kneeled by his side."'N-No. G-God damnit….," I Whispered.

What was I going to tell his parents? What was I-

"R-Ryan," He croaked, sounding to be in grave pain. I nodded then made a 'hm?' sort of sound.

"Please… take me off the road," How was I supposed to do that, carry him? I wasn't strong enough for that but I had to try. With a grunt I somehow lifted him up bridal style, it was the only way I could. Quickly I carried him over to where we were playing at set him down on the long grass.

Felix opened his eyes then sat up with a grin "Thank you," He stood. That dick. Didn't he get hit by that car? "You got a nice voice there Ryan, I knew I'd get you to use it," Felix showed off a smug grin. I just wanted to wipe it off his face.

I thought he died! He made a scene and made it seem like he was dying while that truck didn't even touch him. Oh, and the main reason he went to the road was down in the ditch beside it.

I said nothing while glaring at the blonde who was trying not to laugh at me.

Felix stopped his struggle as he narrowed both eyebrows; he was thinking. About what is what I wanted to know.

"We should go back to my mom and dad," What a good idea….

The blue ball completely left our minds as we walked back without it.

Felix's parents looked to have packed everything but the blanket away and were in mid conversation. I didn't even know what they were saying but they stopped speaking once they saw Felix and I.

"Felix det börjar bli sent berätta för din kompis är det dags att gå" Mrs. Kjellberg spoke, directed to Felix who nodded in response.

"Mom says it's time to go Ryan," _'So we dropped the truck incident'_ I assumed. Everyone filed into the car once the blanket was folded. I had my notebook in my arms gladly. The trip back was filled with sounds of a low volumed radio which of course was playing Swedish songs. I recognized one. Almost everyone knew that song… Caramelldansen, it was catchy. Beside me Felix was bouncing in his seat, probably trying to dance while singing with a voice that could kill a cat. Poor cat.

He tried to get me to sing along with him. Although I knew all the words by heart I wouldn't even try. Felix would've won then.

I say 'won' like it was some sort of competition, me speaking or not. It really wasn't. Here let me clear this up…..

I didn't speak for a reason…. It wasn't that I was physically unable to… It was more like mentally unable. Some things happened that just- you know what, never mind. It never really mattered.

The drive sped by quickly, no pun intended, and the next thing I knew we were stopped outside of Felix's house. We got out of the vehicle and I saw the familiar shine of my moms car. Mom got out of the car with a kind smile and walked to me, giving myself a pat on the head.

"Have fun bud?" I nodded. For once it wasn't a lie. Aside from Felix's prank I had a good time "That's good. Oh hello there I'm Ryan's mom, you must be the parents of Felix," She acknowledged Mr. and Mrs. Kjellberg, they nodded.

"We have to go sweetie, say bye to your friend," I waved to Felix who in return smiled and waved "See you tomorrow! Oh wait it's Friday…. See you Monday then!" Then he disappeared into his house.

Mom and I got into our car then drove home in perfect silence.

"Dad's not coming home today Ry. He says he's sorry but work was demanding and there's so much more work to be done….," Again? It's sad to say that I wasn't that upset…. I was getting used to practically having no dad. My mom was enough….

My knuckles turned white as my grip on the notebook tightened. Although I was used to the disappointing news that my dad wouldn't be home, I always wanted that father-son bond all my male classmates had. I wanted to, at least once, experience a game of catch or anything with my dad. That would never happen, though, and I knew it.

But I never knew if it was because his job was too demanding or if my dad never loved me. Either way, it hurt.

Mom and I walked into the house, she led me into the kitchen and told me to take a seat, I did "I didn't know what to make so I ordered pizza; pepperoni is what you like right?" My lips curved up into a small smile. I loved any pizza in general, pepperoni was my favourite though. "Good I got it right. It should be here in a few minutes," I nodded.

I kicked my legs under the table to pass the time. My notebook was in front of me, laying on the table. _'Maybe I can draw,'_ I thought to myself then agreed to the idea.

I drew pizza. Guess I was really looking forward to it. The sight of the drawing made my stomach growl telling me to feed it or it will annoy the hell out of me until it's fed _'Just wait..,'_

Then the doorbell rang. My head shot up as mom grabbed her wallet then walked to the door. She payed for the pizza then brought it to the table, setting it in front of me. I made sure to move my notebook "Dig in bud," And that was exactly what I did. By the time I was done I had eaten six slices, grease covered my fingers, sauce painted the sides of my mouth. A perfect piece of pepperoni sat on my lap, probably dropped without any recognition.

It's awesome how great a simple, yet fattening, dinner was.

I wiped my hands and face, also picked up the pepperoni and placed it in my mouth. It never touched the ground so it was fine.

I looked at the abandoned pieces of pizza. Usually I would have eaten a few slices more, but I was provided with a snack earlier. My appetite wasn't as large.

"Ryan did you finish your homework?" I shook my head "Then go do it. Have a shower after too," Sigh… grabbing my notebook I then trudged upstairs, into my room. My homework was soon underway

The homework was too easy, so I finished quick.

I threw my homework on my cluttered desk before putting my notebook on my side table then grabbed my pj's and a towel. A warm shower sounded really nice. Mom was humming downstairs as I passed through the hall and into the bathroom. The tiles were cold under my feet as I made my way to the tap, turning on the water. Mist started to rise from the warm water, I then dropped my pj's and towel on the closed toilet seat. I closed and locked the door then stripped my clothes and mask from my body. The air became cold so I took no time in jumping into the shower. Bad Idea.

The warm water wasn't warm; it was frickin boiling. I shrieked then quickly moved out of the stream of water and changed the temperature to something that didn't burn.

I stood under the flowing water and continued on with my shower.

sigh….

There were so many things on my mind. It probably wasn't healthy…. My dad wasn't going to be home again. It was becoming a pattern that neither mom nor I liked. Almost everyday dad didn't come home. He always had the excuse of a 'late night meeting' or that he still had work to be done or work was demanding. Mom looked so sad when he said it over the phone.

Her cobalt blue eyes darkened with disappointment, the specks of gold drowned in the pool of sad blue. I always felt bad for her, I wished I could've helped. Seeing her upset made me mad, it only egged on my growing hate for the man I called father.

I bit my bottom lip as I drowned my hair with shampoo.

Then there were my problems at school. For the previous two days I was left alone. It was weird, ever since Felix moved to the school I was left alone. No-one approached me to start a fight or just to tease me. I wondered why. It just couldn't be a coincidence that I was left alone when he was around. Was I missing something?

Felix didn't look intimidating at all. He was always smiling and so welcoming to everyone. A kind aura always surrounded him.

Well… they could've just given up on teasing me. They never got the reaction out of me that they strived for. I would always just shrug of their hateful words like they were nothing. Because they were nothing.

I rinsed my hair then added conditioner, letting it sit while I scrubbed my body with soap.

Also there were the thoughts of my past. It really wasn't something I wanted lingering in my mind. My jaw clenched as I as I desperately tried not to remember. A growl grew in my throat.

It was his fault. His fucking fault I had to wear the damn mask. Don't get me wrong, I loved the mask, but I didn't love what it was hiding.

_ (Flashback)_

_I was about five. My life was great, mom and dad always smiled which made me repeat the same action._

_As a family we went to a nearby park. Mom and dad sat on a bench and talked amongst themselves as I played on the jungle gym._

_I didn't need my mask back then, or my notebook._

_My parents sat on the opposite side of the playground in which I played on. I climbed a rope ladder pretty high up until my feet were on the flat metal of the jungle gym. It was an accomplishment in which I smiled at. 'Maybe I could ask mom or dad to take a picture,' Just as I was about to call out to them a hand pushed on my back, making me fall down to the small rocks below the play ground._

_I shrieked as I fell but was silenced when my back hit the ground harshly. All air was forced out of my windpipes._

_I couldn't breathe, it hurt too much to. Rocks beside me were disturbed as someone stepped on them. The person said nothing as he knelt beside my aching body. I couldn't move away when he placed the sharp edge of a jagged rock just above my eyebrow. He pressed down and pierced through my flesh then dragged it down, stopping half way down my cheek. He avoided my eye though._

_I couldn't move or say anything. My vision cracked as it's edges turned black. Everything was a blurry haze._

_"Colt what did you do?" Another boy ran up to us. He stood over me with wide eyes. I just stared up at him. His eyes were a beautiful piercing blue with flecks of grey. Looking into his eyes seemed to lessen the pain so that's all I did. Until he moved out of my range of sight. I heard pebbles shifting as the male who pushed me as well as cut me ran off._

_Blue eyes were right in my face. He looked to be my age. Once again he disappeared from sight only to come back with my parents._

_Mom screamed and started crying as dad lifted me up. We left the blue eyed boy who helped me, I wanted to say thank you. But I couldn't._

_ (End)_

Ever since that day I wore a mask over my face to cover the scar that wound left me. That was also the day I lost my voice. Not once after the incident had I spoken a word. Other than when Felix tricked me. Mom started telling people that I had never spoken in my life and that I never learnt to. She didn't want to remind herself and me about what happened.

I looked down at my wrinkled fingers _'How long have I been thinking?'_ I turned off the water then reached over to grab a towel, wrapping it around my waist then getting out of the tub. Goosebumps grew on my exposed skin as I dried myself. Quickly, I threw my pj's on then sighed as warmth found my body again.

As I put my mask on I noticed that the house was perfectly silent. Curiosity got the best of me so I hurriedly went to my room, tossed my clothes and towel in the hamper then ran downstairs.

The lights were off. No sounds were made. I glanced at the digital clock _'shit. I was in the shower for an hour,'_ It was ten pm. The pizza box still lay open on the table, probably for dad if he was hungry when he returned home. My eyebrows knit together. He didn't deserve pizza that mom payed for. So I took the box, closed the lid, then stuffed it in the fridge _'If he wants dinner then he'll get it himself,'_

I noticed that the kitchen was a mess. Mom must've been too tired to clean _'The least I can do is do this for her,'_

It took a while but I finally finished. The kitchen was clean like it would be if mom cleaned it. Tiredness soon consumed me as I trudged up and into my room. I took off my mask and set it on top of my notebook which sat on the side table. Slowly I climbed into bed and fell asleep.

My eyes crept open and I was laying in my dark room. The dream I had scared the shit out of me. Slowly I sat up then get out of bed. I trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbed a glass then filled it with water. The front door opened as I drank from the glass in the darkness of the kitchen. Soft footsteps made their way into the kitchen. The lights turned on.

Dad turned and faced me with shocked, wide eyes "What are you doing up?" My brows narrowed as I looked at him. His oak brown hair was disheveled. pieces sticking up at random. The tie he wore was loosely tied around his neck. My gaze dropped. Hid belt was undone.

_'What happened to him…..,'_ I thought to myself. Dad seemed to realize I noticed his appearance "Go to bed now, boy," I did just that with a question bouncing around my brain.

_'What does dad do when he's not home?'_

* * *

**A/N:** I apparently can't write a nice fluff fanfiction now can I? I'm never giving lil Ryan a break anywhere. Oh well. Thank you for sticking around for the second chapter.

Next chapter should be out by maybe around this time next week.

I used Google translate for the Swedish, please correct me if I am wrong~


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